Loudmouth: What if Andrew Watt produced your life?

August 28, 2026

By STEVE MASCORD

IN A recent interview to promote Biohazard’s new album, main man Evan Seinfeld said: “We were intentionally copying ourselves”. What he means by that is: producer Matt Hyde told them to “make an album that Biohazard fans will love” rather than “overthink”.

One man who has made a career out of this style of production is a 35-year-old wunderkind called Andrew Watt, who has helmed the last two Rolling Stones albums, Ozzy’s last record as well as recent releases by Paul McCartney, Iggy Pop and Pearl Jam.

Unencumbered by decades of fandom and familiarity with these revered artists, Watt leverages his own naivety to these artists, acting as a bridge between their ambitions and the expectations of the audience. A talented musician in his own right, Watt can demonstrate in the studio what people like him – 30 or 40 years younger with a passing interest and beginner’s level knowledge of them – expect of someone who’s been a celebrity for as long as they can remember.

Loudmouth was fascinated many years ago to hear that Mick Jagger is absolutely obsessed with being Mick Jagger. He wants to live up to people’s expectations of him, every waking hour. That may explain the age of his girlfriends…

But point one, most people involved in the arts want to evolve. Point two, even Mick Jagger – at 83 – may lose touch which what “being Mick Jagger” means to people in 2026, sitting as he does in one of several gated mansions.

And that can mean commercial disasters. If Batman starts committing crimes instead of solving them, will anyone buy the next Batman comic or movie? Andrew Watt – and it sounds like Matt Hyde – do the metaphorical equivalent of pointing Bruce Wayne towards a pole and telling him to slide down the damn thing again.

If you accept my hypothesis up to this point, let me posit a question for you: what if Andrew Watt produced your life?

What if Watt came to your place one morning, having already spoken to all your friends and family about you, and started coaching you to be … you.

Let’s forget your weight loss ambitions and that brand new gym membership. That’s just not going to sell, your public will feel let down. Eat up, fatty!

You want to see the sights of Eastern Europe next summer instead of the annual trip to Bali? Your friends EXPECT you to go to Bali. Some of them only buy you drinks because you bring back those bootleg designer clothes for them each year. Not going to Bali would be disastrous. I’ll book the ticket myself.

Sick of writing those reports at work that Chat GPT can do much better and more quickly? Nope. You’re KNOWN for writing those reports. People love your spelling errors and year 10 syntax. It’s part of your public-facing identity. Let’s find a way for you to write more reports, badly. People want MORE of the you that you know.

And that night school course you were going to take in Egyptology? What waste of time! You’re a footy-loving, day-drinking life of the party not some sort of Indiana Jones without the whip. That’s definitely out.. Tell another dirty joke, buddy! Shots?

In the end I can’t help but thinking it is the thirst for relevance and attention that drives older, well-known artists into the arms of producers who teach them to be a less sophisticated version of themselves. We’re not supposed to become less sophisticated and nuanced – at least until we suffer age-related cognitive decline.

The last two Stones albums have been spectacularly good. But after an initial hubub, they are quickly discarded by today’s scrolling culture.

An the autumns of artistic lives, the winners might be those who were never successful in the first place and feel no burning need to recapture past glories … that never happened.

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